Posts tagged ‘asbo’

The adventures of Drunken Ginger Part One

112B8CBE-3CA2-11D9-B7BF-B32CBAFEE083 Now we have have our fair share of Drunken Fools, many are homeless or appear to be and they come in many varieties from Polish Drunkard, to Old Smelly Drunk, to Hairy Drunk. Some are just annoying, some are dangerous and some… just one…is ginger.

As most of my work does this one again starts with a radio call.

“Control we have had reports of some drinkers in the multi-storey car park” This in itself isn’t unusual, for some reason the piss stinking bowels of a multi-storey are considered to be an ideal refuge from the sun / the rain / the world / the wife (delete as applicable). So I take it with a pinch of salt. It’s damn annoying and makes Smalltown look like a complete shithole to visitors but one thing we now have a complete paucity of Police presence. Its not worth bothering HQ with a call about ASB unless it really is bad so we normally let it go.

I put my cameras on the door of the Car Park (for some reason Smalltown County Council doesn’t believe in putting cameras where they would be useful) and I wait for my problems to emerge. Which they quickly do.

We have an unholy trinity of Polish Drunk (here for the jobs stayed for the blue bottle booze), Down and out Drunk (doesn’t have much else to do with his days) and fuck me its Ginger Drunk. Now Ginger Drunk is not like your normal drunk, he is, to put it technically. “A complete arsehole”. If this man fell off the face of the earth the recession would be over. He tends to stay in the company of others with drink which explains his proximity to the much less offensive Polish and Down and Out. Any booze he can cadge is less to buy in the long run and surely it is better to get rat arsed on somebody else pennies then your own.

Ahhh you say, I thought he was a drinker, where does he get his pennies from? Well Ginger is also a beggar. The type we would call aggressive. In the real world this generally means walking up to people in the street and asking for money. In the case of Ginger is generally means walking up to people at the cash machine an demanding “Some fucking Dough”. Then calling them “Tight C**nts” when they tell him where to go.

How do we deal with such a man? He is the perfect candidate for an ASBO in Gingers case this stipulates that he must not:

  1. Urinate in Public anywhere other then a designated Public Convenience.
  2. Behave in a manner likely to cause alarm or distress to the general public.
  3. Beg or ask for money.
  4. Be in possession of Alcohol within the designated area
  5. Be found drunk within the designated area.

There you go, problem solved. Ginger is therefore the Paragon of sobriety as he pinballs down the alleyway, asking people for cash as he goes and barely managing to walk due to his advanced inebriation. Yes in one fell swoop we get a whole 60% breach of an ASBO. An arrestable offence and something hat I can act on BRILLIANT.

Onto the Airwave Police Radio for me, “CCTV to control, I’m currently monitoring a Ginger Drunk. He’s very very drunk, begging and therefore in breach of his ASBO, do you have anyone who can take a look at him” I never demand action from the Police, they know their job and its enough for me to tell them of the problem normally…not today. Today we have the ominous pause that always leads to… “CCTV we don’t have anyone at the moment, can you keep an eye on him?”

So now I use my magic, annoying drunk suppressor, that all CCTV cameras have built in (the government don’t want you to know about that!) Nope. Actually I just watch this man annoying all and sundry, scaring old ladies and generally being a drunken arse. He staggers to the doorway of a local supermarket and collapses in a drunken slumber. The supermarket obviously are not happy about this and use the tried and tested method of calling the Police who this time decide that the unverified word of a Shop Detective is better then the verified video evidence of a professional CCTV op and they now magically find some resources to send. All we need now is for Ginger to be determined in breach or D and D/I.

We wait.

The police arrive in a leisurely manner and the newly awaken Ginger spots them. He drags himself to his feet and gives the time honoured two finger salute. Shortly before he spectacularly twirls to the ground in a tangle of arms, legs and some poor bystanders bicycle.

So here we see the ABSO system in action, an unenforced farce that is freely flaunted by those that really don’t care. What has Ginger got from this? Well he now has a moderately soft place to sleep it off, a meal and somewhere to sober up. The police have annoying paperwork to complete. The only bright side is that at least Ginger isn’t one of those that piss and shit themselves…yes they really do exist.

So now Ginger is a reformed man. I won’t see him dirtying the streets of Smalltown again. Like fuck i wont.


June 7, 2009 at 19:05 Leave a comment

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