Things Police do that annoy me.
We generally have an excellent relationship with the force here in Smalltown. They scratch our backs and we scratch back. Other times its like we are on different planets let alone teams. Here are some of the things that the Police Service do that drive me batshit insane.
- Ask us to watch somebody rather then actually dealing with it in the way it deserves (for example Head Stamping and watching a man die)
- Use the CCTV system as a diagnostic tool ignoring the experience and opinions of operators (no it all looks quiet at the moment (yes because he was stabbed before we put the images through dumbass))
- Try to bypass procedures. If you want a copy of footage for investigative purposes then CONTACT THE MAN EMPLOYED TO DO THIS! If it IS really needed urgently (yeah right!) then i will do a copy but you at least need to be bothered to get the request done.
- Tell me that x, y or z is around and ask me to watch them. I can’t do this, its called The European Convention on Human Rights.
- Avoid arresting people because it is a) busy b) near the end of your shift or c) the cells are full. 20 minutes after you blissfully bugger off home they ALWAYS bottle somebody, ie Head Stamping
- Sit in my control room and distract me when I am obviously busy. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE seeing you fellas (and girls…phwoar) but if I have 3 phones ringing and two radios bleating I’m probably not in the mood for company. I also will not be interested in “taking a look at that arrest you did last week”
- Wash up your coffee mugs after aforesaid visit.
- Don’t make me coffee on aforesaid visit.
- Sign in as PC Mickey Mouse and PC Daisy Duck, this causes questions to be asked at management level.
- Switching to an incident channel for something we have involvement in and not switching us over also.
- Use the term “No complaint so no offenses revealed” I don’t give a fuck if his girlfriend wont moan about being punched in the stomach I FUCKING SAW IT.
- Chase misspers that are really kids that have gone out…again.
- Put your damn hands inside your tunic. You look sloppy and if he pulls a knife wont be able to stop it plunging into your carotid. However this will lower the number of double napoleon tunic pocket fools.
- Ask me if we can see x, y or z location. We cant see it, we have never seen it and we wont be seeing it.
- Don’t ask if I can see x, y , z location when there is a camera right up its arsehole.
- Don’t bring me Percy Pigs!